when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
