a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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