Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
