butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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