the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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