google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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