hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She told me I should be a condom model.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize