why do cheetos always look like penises
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
