508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
