OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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