Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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