I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
