also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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