i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
