What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
