i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
