Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
