some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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