I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
