Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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