She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
