you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
