Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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