Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
