Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
