Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
