Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
