The maid of honor just puked.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
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