Where is the hickey?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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