Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
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