These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
