its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
