If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
