it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
