pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
