whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize