his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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