He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
