i don't like sucking hair
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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