i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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