this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
