stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
