I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
