"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize