great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Randomize
