I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
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