If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I love having hate sex.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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