Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
