East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
