I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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