apparently the secret to your success is patron
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
