My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
