also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
