i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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