I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
