As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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