I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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