so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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